Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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