You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
