Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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