Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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