Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
