I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
