Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
