i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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