Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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