So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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