The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
