He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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