They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
