Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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