He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
