Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
