her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
we're so committed to being not committed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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