Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
