First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
