whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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