Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
