I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
