if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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