i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
