Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
