What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
