He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
