I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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