I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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