I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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