Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
