I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize