great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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