...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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