brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
