maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
