You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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