He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
