What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
