I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
