I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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