I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pants are for mortals
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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