So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
