Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
