my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
