It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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