Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
