your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
no, he came in my armpit
my vag is so smooth its legendary
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
