just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i came on her dog
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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