if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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