And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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