The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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