Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
false alarm. still invincible.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
