I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
