No subtext here. People are naked.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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