If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
