Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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