so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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