My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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