My friends, they love my intelligence
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
