p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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