She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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