Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
