if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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