haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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