...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize