i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
