ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
