sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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