I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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