ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
