I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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