Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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