I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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