so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
