whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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