Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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