that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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