Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
