I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
